


hello, my old heart

by armyofbees



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: .... i cried while writing this, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Reunions, god they're just... they love each other..., they are so soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 03:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17236727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armyofbees/pseuds/armyofbees
Summary: Coming home to Ben is like a breath of fresh air after months of smoke.





	hello, my old heart

**Author's Note:**

> please please please listen to [Hello My Old Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKNwx82kPjY) by The Oh Hellos while reading this. yes i cried bc of that song and this fic. thank you & enjoy!

Coming home to Ben is like a breath of fresh air after months of smoke. He meets Caleb at the airport, looking like a million bucks that hasn’t slept in weeks and Caleb feels the ache in both their bones when they crash into a hug and Ben (somehow, stupidly joyfully) sweeps him off his feet.

Ben holds his hand in the cab home (because they still, still can’t afford a car here), studying him like he’s the only thing in the universe. Caleb thinks his month-old beard and travel-greased hair aren’t that much to look at but he smiles back and squeezes Ben’s hand just to be sure he’s there.

They’re mostly quiet. Back at their apartment they eat dinner and the upstairs neighbors bang around, muffled.

“I want to show you something,” Ben says, smiling, the universe in his eyes and the crinkles standing out around them. He leaves the kitchen and Caleb hears a song crackle to life, like a memory sprung from a well, trickling through the air back to him.

Caleb stands, leans on the doorway connecting the two rooms with his hands in his pockets. Ben stands near the far wall next to a record player, adjusting the volume and looking like a dream come true. He looks up, sees Caleb, and smiles sheepishly. “I saw this on my way home one day. It made me think of you.”

“Naturally,” Caleb says, stepping into the room. Ben meets him halfway, grabbing his hands and pulling him close. “You bought a record player but we still don’t have a car?”

Ben buries his laugh in Caleb’s shoulder and leaves his head there, leaning against him, warm breath ghosting over cold skin. He doesn’t reply right away, just sets Caleb swaying to the song he half-recognizes, the melody old and familiar and foreign all at once. “I could only afford one before you got home.”

And suddenly, Caleb starts to cry. At those words, like a dam breaking, everything crashes forward at once, roaring where there was once only a murmur. Tears well up and over and Ben doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arms around Caleb and lets him cling to him like a lifeline. Home at last, and he feels lost and found and safe.

Ben kisses the top of his head and pets his hair and lets Caleb dry his eyes with a dirty sleeve.

“I missed you,” Caleb says weakly, in defense. Ben smiles abruptly, as if surprised by himself.

“I missed you too,” he replies. They stand and take each other in and slowly, Ben leans in to kiss him. Caleb can’t believe they waited this long for this —  _ a year and then some, _ he thinks,  _ why didn’t I kiss him at the airport, _ he thinks,  _ I love you always, no matter what, _ he thinks.

He’d forgotten what it feels like to have your heart burst at the seams, to feel so  _ much _ for one person in one moment that it feels raw and terrible and like you never want to give that feeling up again. He’d forgotten what it feels like to love Ben, immediately and not separated by four hours and miles and miles of ocean; his heart and soul aches for him entirely.

They dance for a while. The song changes and Caleb twirls Ben around for a bit and then they just sway, falling into each other and their home.

“I love you,” Caleb tells Ben, lips brushing close to his ear.

Ben hums and rests his hands on Caleb’s chest, one just over his heart. “I love you too.”

Caleb wakes up to an empty bed and takes a long-overdue shower. Halfway through rinsing his hair a song meanders its way into the room and he finds himself humming along as he towels himself off and wanders out to see Ben in the kitchen, making coffee while something bakes in the oven. Caleb could lose himself in this moment forever.

“Did you know you’re an angel?” he asks as he sits down and Ben passes him a mug. Caleb always says he doesn’t care how his coffee’s made, but he’s partial to milk and sugar and Ben’s remembered that.

“So I’ve been told,” Ben says. “Not sure the sources are reliable though. They seem biased.”

Caleb hides his smile in his coffee. They’re quiet as the morning opens up around them, the sounds of construction starting up on the building across the street, a police siren wailing in the distance. Pigeons coo and a dog barks. The oven beeps. A door down the hall opens and closes. There’s no slosh of waves, no roll of thunder, no biting sea wind. Just the birdsong of the city as Ben pulls cinnamon rolls from the oven and kisses Caleb good morning despite the coffee breath.

“Nothing really changes here, does it?” asks Caleb.

Ben shrugs. “Does it out there?”

“You can never really tell.”

They’re quietly contemplative, used to the silence in the corners of each other’s absence. In the background, Caleb finally recognizes a song about love.

“A year is a long time,” Ben says. His voice is thin and tired and Caleb feels it in his own body, his own soul.

At the same time they say, “Maybe—” and break off.

Caleb gestures for Ben to speak.

“What if you stayed?” he asks, like he’s trying not to second-guess himself. The words are a tumult of everything Caleb’s been afraid to ask. “What if you stayed and got a job here and just lived with me and we didn’t — didn’t have to do this?”

“You don’t know how much I want that,” Caleb begins to say, choked, when Ben says instead, “What if you — married me?”

They’re sitting at the kitchen table, cinnamon rolls cooling on plates before them, coffee half finished, and Ben is looking at him like he can’t quite believe he said that. He looks like he wouldn’t take it back for the world. Across the street, construction equipment wails and creaks as Caleb stares back at him, shocked and elated and feeling his heart like a jackhammer in his chest.

“Okay,” he says.

“Okay?” Ben asks.

“Okay, I’ll marry you,” Caleb says. “And I’ll stay, and get a job, and we’ll live together, and yes, I will marry you.”

Ben laughs, more a breath than a sound and reaches across the table for Caleb’s hand. Caleb takes it, pulls him to his feet and kisses him there, his world feeling too bright and full not to. They laugh into each other’s mouths and Caleb thinks,  _ why did I ever leave? _ thinks,  _ I love you, _ thinks,  _ forever, now. _


End file.
